Have you ever been in a situation or a relationship that you KNEW wasn’t right for you, but you stuck around anyway, hoping to change it?
The truth is, we often spend A LOT of energy trying to fix other people and force outcomes in our external reality. But few of us actually take the time to stop and really look at the person in the mirror and to make changes within OURSELVES.
You see, the situations and people in our external reality are a mere reflection of who we are, on the inside.
Once we accept this responsibility, it becomes much easier to make peace with others around us, to let go of toxic relationships and to attract healthy and supportive opportunities into our lives.
If you’ve been dealing with a frustrating situation or if you just want to invite more love, happiness and peace into your life… try these 5 simple, yet POWERFUL steps! ☺
Step 1: Look at yourself before judging others.
As human beings, we can be quick to judge and blame other people or external circumstances for a problem, without realizing that it may be a reflection of something we dislike about ourselves.
The next time you find yourself doing this, take a moment to think about WHY this person or situation is actually making you angry.
You’ll be surprised at how often you can learn something new about yourself and why you behave and respond the way you do. Plus, you’ll usually improve your relationships with others in the process too!
Step 2: Assume responsibility.
When you accept responsibility for your thoughts, actions, emotions and behaviors, as well as your current external circumstances, you’ll be empowered to make decisions and react in ways that only bring you closer to the life you desire.
This level of responsibility also brings you an immense amount of freedom, because you’ll know that you have the power to transform your life.
Step 3: Accept people for who they.
It’s important to realize that everyone is different and that people won’t always behave exactly the way you think they should.
When you make a conscious decision to accept people as they are, even if you don’t agree with every decision they make, you’ll feel less stressed and happier in your personal relationships.
Step 4: Love yourself.
This is a BIG one! As I mentioned earlier, making peace with those around you requires you to love the skin you’re in!
Spend time alone and get in touch with the authentic version of YOU 🙂
Let go of any judgments, comparisons to others and self-hatred that you may be holding on to by reminding yourself that those negative thought patterns are only hurting you.
Instead acknowledge your strengths, your abilities and your unique traits. Focusing on yourself and learning to love who you are will help you release the feeling of wanting to ‘fix’ others.
Step 5: Be grateful.
Every person and situation you encounter in your life is an opportunity for you to learn, expand and to grow.
If you’re feeling frustrated, try looking at the person or situation from a different perspective. When you think of ways that this situation could make you a better person, you can suddenly see it as a valuable gift instead of a challenge.
Great post! If only more people would listen to these words of wisdom, the world would be a far better place than it is now. I’m going to try this 5 step guide this week!
Assuming responsibility isn’t as easy as one may think but it definitely changes your perspective on life and it defiantly changes the way that you interact with other people once you start time take responsibility for the actions you’ve made in life.
Interesting read. Thank you for sharing to us some good advice about creating peace within our life. Very helpful. As I have been experiencing different kinds of stress these past few weeks, your relevant tips will surely make it easier for me to deal with life now.
This is an awesome post. I get a little emotional about this because on my to self discovery, I realized all these things needed to be kept up. I have restrained from getting into an intimate relationship for that very reason. I began many years ago to work on myself, and strengthen my current relationships. So far I have been doing OK, but I want to know when will I be healthy enough to proceed?
This is so heartwarming. If everyone could live this way there would be peace on earth. Thank you for sharing this wisdom! I’ll be sure to practice it and pay it forward.
Great tips. I especially like, “love yourself.” I think that is something we all agree with when we think about it. The problem is, we so rarely think about it. It is hard to be happy and love others when I don’t spend sometime remembering what it is I love about myself. Thanks for the reminder!
I think the first 2 points are brilliant. But I also think they’re probably the hardest. Introspection, let alone critical introspection can be a very rewarding but nonetheless confronting experience. And ‘taking a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror’ doesn’t always cut it. You really do have to be self-aware enough to understand why it is you’re acting or reacting the way you are, and that can take a level of self-reflection most of us have never bothered to attain. This connects well with your second point that we MUST assume responsbibility for our actions, ourselves, our behaviour and thoughts. It’s so easy to pass on responsibility to someone else- “I feel bad because this person did this”. Really, a lot of the time I think we’re aware that we are our own worst enemy and have brought this uncomfortability on ourselves, but the easier thing to do than admit this to ourselves and consider why this is the case (point 1 again) is to blame someone else.
When I turned 16, one of my mentors threw a party for me and her gift to me was a small, smooth stone. On it was one word: gratitude. The stone is something I’ve kept with me everywhere I go, ever since then. I love it because when I first received it, I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to say. It is an odd thing to receive gratitude for a gift. In some ways, it was a lesson and I’ve treasured it.
Great tips. I completely agree with all of them but sometimes we all struggle to follow them. Step 4 is especially difficult for me. I tend to get really upset with myself to the point where I feel like I complete failure and don’t want to do anything anymore. I compare myself to others, more successful people than me, even though I understand that I should accept myself for who I am. Nobody is perfect, after all.
Who doesn’t want more peace into their lives? I could definitely take a few pointers from this article when it comes towards loving people as they are and stop trying to fix them up. One of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou is this: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Great article. I personally find that meditation and having ample quiet time and alone time really helps with finding peace. Another thing I found about finding inner peace is that it doesn’t happen at once; you have to constantly remind yourself to be at peace and to maintain a good quality of life (in terms of your diet and the things you let yourself get affected by.)
Meditation and hard physical work seems to help me find peace. It may seem odd, but when I am sweating buckets pulling weeds in the garden or something similar I find my mind to be clearer.
There are a few ideas here I will definitely be trying, as I could always use more peace. I will be sharing this with a couple friends.
So true, so true… I am immediately stunned by the first point and in fact we do need to look at ourselves before we make comments and judge others, I mean, so much to improve in our own life, so why do we even care about what other people do? More, all the steps you mention are of great value, above all we need to accept people and things as they are…
Good article and good advice. Like you talked about, I was in a relationship that I should have ended long before I did. When I got out of it I definitely didn’t love myself for a very long time, and I really think that was the most important thing for me. I know at times I still get very frustrated with people around me, but it helps if I realize that I should be grateful for them even though they can be irritating sometimes.