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Oops I failed at being spiritual

Interview with Betsy Chasse by Chris Grosso for Mantra Magazine

Chris Grosso: You made what ended up being one of the most successful spiritual movies of all time, What the BLEEP Do We Know!? Then what happened?

Betsy Chasse: For a while I had it all. Spiritual know-it-all: check. Perfect husband, perfect marriage, kids, a house in the country: check. I would be spirited away to amazing places to tell knowledge seekers how this vapid, one-dimensional girl hit the enlightenment jackpot and how in just a few easy steps they too could have it all. And for a while that worked. But deep inside was a quiet voice that over time ended up screaming louder than a three-year-old mid-tantrum, saying, “LIAR!”

And I was lying, not only to the world, but to myself too. The truth was I had no idea what being “spiritual” meant. I was busy pursuing happiness, seeking enlightenment and finding balance – and failing miserably at all of it.

CG: How does one fail at being spiritual?

BC: In my case [being spiritual] was just a job. It was something I could intellectually talk about, but because I was afraid of “not knowing the answer” I often avoided asking questions. Questions that ricocheted through my head about some of the ideas and concepts I was spouting, and their practicality in life – real life, like cleaning up the dog poop in the yard and stepping in it real life. I was shouting “I AM” from the mountaintops but underneath I wasn’t, and I knew it.

So I quit trying to be anything. I was so exhausted and broken and lost, and in a rage one day, I threw away everything I thought I knew about anything. I realized that while I was pretending, I was searching for love and acceptance from others and myself, and it wasn’t there.

The only thing left was the darkness. So I went there for a while. I hung out with fear and doubt and got to know them.

CG: And what did they tell you?

BC: They led me back to me, the authentic me. They showed me why they were there and what they needed so that they could move on and I could have myself back. In uncovering my shadow, I found my light. I had to dig deep into myself and find what living a meaningful and spiritual life meant to me and no one else. There are no rules in spirituality. There is no scoreboard. Living the right path is simply living your path as best you can.

Imagine your worst fear.

Now see it happening
Experience it with everything you’ve got.
Taste the salty tears as they stream down your face
your nose running
and your mouth is wide open
screaming as the tears and snot make their way into your mouth.

Don’t stop now

Hear the shouts of hatred flying at you like bullets
the attacks against you ricochet off your heart
which eventually breaks from the onslaught.

Don’t stop

Smell the burning of the paper your dreams were written on

Experience every awful wretched emotion surrounding that fear.
Until you can’t breath
your insides are burning
and you fall to the ground
and sob until you sleep

Sleep

Wake up
Look around you
See the world upside down and crooked for a moment
Observe every color so bright it blinds you
Rise up slowly to your knees
Eyes closed
Smell the air
How long has it been since you really smelled the air?

Breath

Smell the dirt in it
smell the flowers all the way in your backyard
as if they are right under your nose

Feel that breath bring goose bumps to your arms
Sense the coldness
Feel the chills up your spine

Hold your breath Now open your eyes

You’re still here
Now stand up
And walk through that door
Because you can

About Betsy Chasse

Betsy Chasse is a mom, author and Film Maker. Her films include "What The Bleep Do We Know?!" (Writer, Director, Producer", Song of the New Earth (Producer) and Pregnant In America (Producer) she has written 4 books most recently "TIPPING SACRED COWS - The Uplifting story of spilt milk and finding your own spiritual path in a hectic world"

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7 comments

  1. This is so authentic and it takes you to a place of authenticity that my soul seems to long for. it was only a moment, but I want more. This has inspired me to go and write about the way I feel, the way I think and who I really am, because I can.

  2. To me, the most inspirational people are not the ones who “have it all together.” I’m inspired by failures and imperfection. The inspiration comes from the struggle and journey to continue seeking change and improvement. Your story is honest and real. Thank you for sharing!

  3. That is so true and we can say that we have failed spiritually while we keep all that knowledge at an intellectual level. We need to take it a step deeper t achieve full understanding of what spiritual is.

  4. Exactly. I love your writing, it seems so authentic and I can feel what you mean. Being spiritually satisfied isn’t having the perfect life, but knowing that what matters if what you feel inside your brain. We need to dig deeper, always, because when we get stuck in spiritual limbo, and think we’ve already figured it all out, that’s when we sit down and stop chasing.

  5. Many times it’s quite the opposite from having the perfect life as being spiritual can be a rocky road that lead us to problems. Hence the sense from the sentence, there can only come light out of darkness.

  6. This is a very interesting little interview. Sometimes it takes going through all the hardships and having to prove yourself that really makes us the most spiritual. The whole part of imagining your fear is pretty intense when you follow it through. I think that this is a positive way to look at life overall, and those thinking like this the better off we all are.

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